Designing Friday Sauna

This is a work in progress. Last updated March 22, 2024. Please email me with feedback, friends@love.farm.

The cell/text thread is for Friday sauna invites and confirmations only. Regrets, likes and other comments just clutter the signal. We can build an email list for more lengthy discussion, or talk about in RL on Friday.

As the sauna owner, I am by default responsible for drafting this design document. The Friday Sauna experience belongs to all of us, so please collaborate on figuring out what it is or could be about.

Last Friday, Nic asked me about the added expense of organic ingredients. I have addressed in this version.

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Sharing the barrel and lake feels great to me, likewise high vibe home made food and rapport with amazing people. Friday's sauna and potluck has lots of benefits - health, friendship, learning, encouragement, music, play, collaboration... Along the way we've discovered guidelines or rules, by paying attention to what feels best, neutralizing hazards, and once or twice, shutting down dangerous behavior. Please take the time to assimilate and provide feedback so we can continue to bloom this project.

The more I live and learn, the farther I get away from the culture of convenience that I grew up with. Joe Cissell and I started this sauna in 2020 by ignoring "the science" that recommended social distancing and isolation. In 2024, Friday Sauna continues to be a decisive inversion of conventional concepts and practices. What follows is a list of rules that distill but don't necessarily explain the underlying aesthetic. As we keep coming together, the why will eventually become obvious.

The sauna

Clothing optional.

Sauna and swim according to your capacity. Pay attention to your sensations, explore your frontiers gently and take full responsibility for your own well being.

Ask for help if you need it.

Do not endanger yourself and cause others to have to rescue you.

Mild nausea is a signal to get out of the sauna.

Do not use cologne, perfume, aftershave, deodorant, scented shampoos, and other chemicalized smells in the sauna. Likewise clothing and towels should be free of aroma, use unscented laundry soap and never use dryer sheets. If you are self conscious about your natural smell, you're probably not a good fit for Friday Sauna 🙂

Enter and exit the sauna safely and elegantly. Try not to hold the door open.

Be aware of the candle if it's lit. Don't push the candle under the bench, because it could catch the bench on fire and dripping sweat could put it out.

Don't drip sweat into the steam bucket. Keep the water fresh and clean, otherwise steam will smell like burning hair and skin, yuk. Use a separate jar to rinse your body, rather than scooping water with your hands. Help kids to understand the steam bucket protocol.

Never add essential oils, (or anything), to water for steaming.

Only folks next to the stove are allowed to steam. They will thus enjoy/endure the most intense steam hit, which should moderate their enthusiasm.

When steaming, pour water from the back of the rocks to the front with a steady gentle stream, always keeping your hand well in front of the rising cloud. If you pause, you can get badly scalded.

If accidentally burned or scalded, IMMEDIATELY put the effected area under the coldest water available, either the steam bucket or the lake. Do not wait, do this right away.

If sitting near the stove, reach out a hand to potentially catch folks as they approach from the door. People can get whoozy after a cold dip and bare skin contacting the stove can cause serious injury. If folks are climbing into the corners, be prepared to guide them up and past you so they don't accidentally touch legs or feet the stove.

Do not stoke the fire unless you've gotten the tutorial from an experienced stoker. When stoking, don't force or wiggle wood vigorously, as this puts smoke into the sauna.

Keep the sauna drains free of dirt and sand.

The last people in the sauna should empty both buckets and bring in anything left behind.

Food

Potluck is best when everyone prepares a dish with organic and/or homegrown ingredients. Everyone can fix something excellent to share.

If your coming with kids, bring enough food for your entire family.

Let folks know whether there's meat, gluten, peanuts, etc. A list of ingredients is helpful.

Please do not use fake meat, EVER. Tempeh is ok, use seitan and tofu sparingly.

If you want Dan to eat your food, (optional), do not use cashews.

Vegetarian fare is not required, but is universally appreciated. Vegetarian means skipping all animal meat, fat, broth, eggs. Animals include fish!

If bringing store bought produce, chips, etc, buy organic and check the ingredients. The less ingredients the better, usually. Avoid seed oils, especially canola.

The USDA organic standard is far from optimal, and we can't even be sure the organic label can be trusted. However, short of getting all our food from trusted local sources, (someday) buying organic is likely better for health.

What about the higher price? Here's three points worth considering.

1. Organics may appear to be more expensive than conventional food, but when we consider the degradation of our health and increased medical expenses associated with ingesting pesticides and GMOs, organic food is far cheaper. The hidden cost of conventional food includes chronic pain / inflammation, and food allergies, (which are more likely pesticide or GMO allergies).
2. Buying organic in bulk provides a significant cost savings. A 25lb bag of grain or legumes lasts a long time and can be stored in rodent proof food grade buckets with easy to remove snap on lids.  When our enjoyment of clean, healthy food becomes an exciting priority rather than an annoying chore, we can easily find ways to bring costs down.
3. Sauna is an expansion of our physical and emotional capacity. Those who used to complain or go for the door when Dan poured water on the rocks are now asking for more steam. That means we are all gradually getting stronger, more resilient. This is akin to lifting heavier weights or running farther and faster. Following this powerful practice with low quality food is not only counter productive but totally out of sync with community. Every Friday, our sauna community prepares by chopping wood, lighting and stoking the fire, prepping the house, and fixing great food.  Over the last 3 years, the community has made several repairs and upgrades to the barrel. Showing up with low quality food or nothing at all means you're missing out on the full sauna experience. You are barely squeaking by instead of deliberately thriving.

We are pretty much alcohol and pot free, though there's no prohibition. If partaking, stay conscious and considerate. For example, go out of doors to smoke, don't reek of weed when coming back in, be discreet or skip if kids are everywhere.

Eating

No food nor drinks in the music room.

Kids should only take or be given the food they want to and can actually eat. Keep food and drinks in the kitchen / woodstove room. Everyone but especially kids should chew and swallow before leaving the kitchen / woodstove room.

Do your dishes, show your kids how to do theirs. Doing a few extra dishes and utensils is always appreciated.

Families

Bring multiple activities to engage your kids.  Please make effort throughout sauna hours to help them set up, use, and clean up these activities.

Ensure children are properly using the bathroom, including handwashing after every visit.

Create opportunities for kids to sauna in an age/interest appropriate way.

Keep family belongings condensed to one area.

Be aware of the impact your child is having on the space.

Yelling / running indoors and other behavior that could damage the house, gear, animals or people is to be immediately curtailed by whoever is present, parents or otherwise, please.

Kids must be able to peacefully coexist with expensive equipment and musical instruments.

Kids should never touch, much less carry, instruments without first asking hosts / owners every time, regardless of whether they've been given permission on prior visits. Always ask first.

Children thrive with clear and consistent limits. 'No' is a word that can help define these limits, and Friday Sauna kids should have a healthy relationship with this word.

Everyone who comes to Friday Sauna can help protect and enhance our resources by noticing what is and isn't appropriate.

Garbage

We aspire to being a zero garbage house. Bringing foods in disposable plastic bags or wrappers means there's going to be landfill left behind that we'll have throw away. Which is another reason we encourage home cooking - you can take your delivery method back with you.

Personal Items

Leave shoes outside.

Bring your own towel(s). Take them with you. Soaked or sweaty towels go outside or in watertight bags, not on wood floors or draped over random objects.

Keep track of your stuff (towels, cloths, phones, pots) and take with you when you go. We appreciate an easy reset after sauna, and arranging to store or return items is time consuming. Eventually, everything in the Lost and Found gets donated to clothing swaps or the Women's Resource Center Thrift shop in TC, but not needing to donate is way better

Guests

Friday Sauna has been an awesome way to grow our tribe. Introducing new folks is fun! What sort of person is a good fit for Friday Sauna? What qualities does our current crew already demonstrate and value?

IMHO, we all enjoy a significant degree of self awareness or at least a desire to be more self aware. That includes a desire to be responsible for ourselves. We're open to new ideas and are generally compassionate. There's a trend towards what I call conscious generosity, we enjoy the pleasure of giving while staying mindful of whether our giving is actually helping rather than handicapping others.

Overall, I've noticed that folks who don't seem to be a good fit for sauna bounce off, they just stop coming. That's resonance in action. What I've learned is that Friday Sauna is not a good place for friends who are chronically unclear, confused, needy, flailing, struggling with addiction, rigid, fearful... I am energized by being with you all, and am excited to welcome folks who can enhance our experience, rather than suck energy away. Everyone goes through tough times, and we have repeatedly demonstrated our ability to provide mutual support. The decision to take on temperature extremes week after week is, for me, a sort of metaphor for life competency. When inviting new folks to sauna, consider whether they are generally exhibiting life competency, and maybe even life virtuosity.

If in doubt, call and tell me about your potential new recruit.

Conspiracy and downer topics

Temperature extremes can be intense, and each person is responsible for how much intensity they choose to experience. Negative talk, especially negative self talk, complaining or verbal chafing does not support the inner adventure others are choosing to take. Therefor, in and around the barrel, keep the energy encouraging by choosing discussion topics that uplift... or just stay silent. If you're the kind of person who is uncomfortable with silence and feels compelled to fill it with words, there's probably a better sauna for you elsewhere.

Conspiracy theories help some of us to sort out what's happening in the wider world, to take responsibility for our future. However, these conversations are not for everyone and can trigger emotional distress. Conspiracy theorizing is not appropriate for sauna.

Gently introduce and/or remind folks of the Friday Sauna design.